Proof positive

Monday, January 2:

You cannot just go to a store and buy a pregnancy test. You have to buy several other things with it. That way, you look nonchalant. And you hope the cashier and bagger won’t say anything. Either this time, or the next time you go into the store.

You’re supposed to take the test first thing in the morning. I tell my husband that’s what I’m doing. I follow the instructions to a T. I cannot breathe as I see first one line, then two, appearing on the stick. It’s very fast. There’s no faint coloration. There’s no maybe. I’m pregnant.

I carry the stick back to my husband. He’s now cleaning the cat litter box. I can’t get his attention. Sulking, I put the stick down on his nightstand along with the test instructions. He can look at it for himself.

And why is cleaning the litter box more important right now?!

He finally sits down to look at the stick. He reads the test instructions.

He’s impressed the instructions claim the test is 99.9% accurate.

Men.

We don’t get out of bed for a long time after that. It’s a holiday, anyway.