Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bringing baby home, and giveaway winner

OK, no, I didn't forget I was supposed to announce winners of the Bustin' Out Babies giveaway yesterday. Real life got in the way. Real life has been getting in the way of a lot of things for the past several days. A toddler being very two. A spare room to clean out to make way for the baby. Family commitments. Realizing you've closed a neighbor's open door when they weren't home only a hour before cops blocked off your street to look for a burglar and now your fingerprints are there so you're worried they'll come looking for you if anything turns up missing at their house.

Paranoid much?

I need a vacation.

Anyway, Rachel at A Little Bit of Crazy wins the baby care DVDs and the novel for her sister, who's expecting for the first time. Congrats!

I've been thinking about what it will be like with Fly and a newborn. First things first, I'm wondering what to do with Fly when I am at the hospital having the baby and the next couple of days before we come home. I was talking with a friend who has a daughter close to Fly's age and a five-month-old, and she recommended having grandparents stay at my home to take care of Fly, and JP come home at night. That way, Fly will still be on his comfortable home turf and have the reassurance that at least one parent is there with him at night.

JP wants to stay at the hospital with the baby and me the whole time, but I'm concerned Fly will go into shock without seeing either of us for a couple days. I know he can probably come visit at the hospital, but at the end of the visit, he won't understand why he's going home and we're not going with him.

My friend also recommended a class offered at the hospital that prepares small children for staring bug-eyed ignoring welcoming a baby into the home.

So, does anyone have any other suggestions for how to help Fly adjust to having a baby around? Or what to do with him while I'm at the hospital?

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Blogger The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Yea for me!!! I'm so excited, my sister is having her baby in February, that'll be so exciting for her! I can't figure out where your email is...
my email is rachelanddanny at gmail dot com

5:56 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

You robbed your neighbor's house? I know times are bad but, really....

I have no advice. I worried and fretted and cried about how to help my oldest adjust the #2. #1 had slept in my bed and was the first grandchild so he was spoiled rotten! But he loved his sister the moment he saw her. Seriously. They are best friends still. And it had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING I did! Well, I did pray a lot. When #3 came along #1 and #2 had each other so they were unconcerned about the new baby brother.

As for when you are in the hospital-I agree with the idea that dad comes home at night, to maintain as much normality as possible. That's what we did when 2 and 3 were born. I also really hate hospital beds so I come home after only 1 night.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Melissa @ Banana Migraine said...

I was really worried about what to do with Dominic while I was in the hospital - and even asked the hospital if he could stay too.

We ended up having my mom stay with him at our house and he did fine!

7:34 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

When I had K, M had just turned 2. My parents came out to stay with her until she woke up (I had a c-section and had to be there early) then they took her to their house for the day. Craig picked her up there and they went home together for each night. She spent some time at the hospital each day too, meeting K and just being with me too.

Craig was with our kids most of the time when I had D. Honestly, I appreciated the alone time!

I also told him that I had a lot of people to help me at the hospital and our kids needed him more.

Other than that, the baby always has given a gift to his/her big sibling(s) and before baby arrives, big sibling(s) picked out a gift for the baby too.

We were lucky that both times we brought a new baby home the siblings were very receptive and proud to be a big sibling.

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was so scared too and it worked out just great. I didn't let Primo visit me for the same reasons (and I'd probably have freaked when he left too) and that was good. He was a little anxious when Bella came home but that's it - he loved her instantly and still does.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Beth @ TheAngelForever said...

We were very worried about our oldest when we were expecting the little guy. There is almost 4 years between the two, so the big guy really was the center of life for a long time. He was 3 when we took him to the big brother class at the hospital. It was fabulous. They showed him the rooms we would be staying in, gave the kids things to diaper and care for their dolls with, looked at the nursery and talked about being a big brother/sister. We also read our son a lot of books. The best thing that we did was to do a lot of special big brother things with him before the baby came. We also bought him a doll. We wanted him to have a baby of his own. He loved it and still does to this day.

When I went into labor our son went to have a special day with family. Hubby was with me and later the big brother came to meet his little brother. We opted to have hubby spend time with me in the hospital, but he went home to be with our son. We did not want him to feel left out. I also knew that there really was nothing for hubby to do over night. He would be better off getting sleep at home.

Good luck with everything, it will work out and Fly will adjust. I think it was harder for me to juggle two kids than it was on my son.

8:49 PM  
Blogger Madeline said...

Wish I had some fabulous advice for you, but I have zero experience with that one. I think if I'm ever blessed with a second baby, Levi is going to have a cow!! If another adult even hugs me, he pushes them away. And babies, he only likes them as long as they keep their distance from his mommy.
I pray that Fly loves and adores the new baby and that everything goes smoothly for you and your family. :)

10:52 PM  
Blogger Madeline said...

I just noticed your current craving: cherries and carrots. How lucky are you! I didn't crave a single healthy food my entire pregnancy.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Lissete said...

My girls are 14 months apart. When I delivered my 2nd, my mom stayed at our house. Worked out great, especially since my mom cooks & cleans! ;) I don't know what I would have done without her though, because I would never had left her with my MIL. My daughter would have freaked out! Just make sure he stays with someone that he's used to staying with.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

My parents stayed at our house with my oldest (3 years old at that point) when we went to the hospital. My husband went home the next day to shower, eat, and bring Q-ster to the hospital to visit the baby and me.

If you haven't already, you might want to look into those kids books (like Berenstain Bears) that introduce the big brother experience. We'd already read about how Mommy would go to stay in the hospital for a few days, he'd get to visit, and then we'd bring home a baby. It helped a lot!

11:48 PM  
Blogger Jen S. said...

I'll sure you'll come up with a wonderful solution.

A burglar in your neighborhood? That's kinda creepy!

11:54 PM  
Blogger Bloggy Mama said...

I'm without advice, today. I just wanted to wish you well with the transition. I'm sure that whatever you choose will be the right way for you.

12:52 AM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

We had my mom come before I was scheduled for my c-section and she took care of him while my husband and I were busy with the new little one. He was not quite two so he really had no idea what was going on and was happy to have plenty of grandma time. When he did visit he was mostly interested in crawling all over me and ignored pretty much everything else.

This time around I am not sure exactly what we will do since both kid are more aware of what is going on.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was so freaked about Becca on her own, we live so far from family my kids barely know their Grandparents.

But she was awesome. She stayed with Grandma and came to the hospital to see Ethan an hour after he was born.

This time around I am even more freaked out. I am not sure my MIL will come, or when she should come if she can ... ahhh! We have friends that will take the kids but AHHH!

1:56 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

We'll be dropping our 2-year-old daughter off at "pa & ma's house" (my in-laws) on our way to the birth center. She's extremely close to them so I'm not really concerned about that (which I am very grateful for...I know not everyone has the luxury of wonderful in-laws that live close by...).

I'm hoping she won't have to stay there long. The birth center allows you to "check out" and go home within 4 hours of the delivery if both mommy and baby are healthy...so that's what I'm hoping for.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Julia stayed at our house with her grandparents while I was having Lucy and Dave stayed at the hospital with me. I have to give grandma and grandpa credit for keeping her so happy. They did a lot to get ready to welcome Lucy home. They made signs, a cake and stuff like that.

Julia came to visit each day I was in the hospital and while it was tough when she had to go (for me, not her - she and grandma always had exciting plans), I think it was important that she came.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh this is a tough one, I know! When I had my second, my parents came up and kept my daughter at our house. I had to have another c-section and needed (wanted!) my husband with me- so he spent most of the time at the hospital helping me. My daughter was very happy to have all the attention from her grandparents (who live in another state)-- she was 3 and it worked. For #3 on the way soon- my mom is coming up and will do the same for my daughter and son. They feel better sleeping in their own beds and love having my mom here. ALSO- my daughter STILL remembers this- when I had #2 - when she came to the hospital to meet him we had a gift there for her from him. She felt special and thought it was so cool her new little brother "brought" her a gift!!! Good luck!!!

11:27 PM  

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