Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hugs wanted

I knew this time would come. I've heard about it from mom friends, read about it on your blogs. And now I'm mourning the loss.

The loss of the hug! The loss of snuggle time!

Fly has moved on.

In the mornings, I used to be able to count on a minute of just holding onto my boy. I'd hold him close, kiss his soft cheek, murmur good-morning wishes and pass along other happy thoughts to him while I enjoyed a little munchkin cuddle.

But now, I barely get in a quick squeeze before he wants to be put down, or get off my lap, so he can grab toy cars by the handful or lead me to the kitchen for a drink.

If you ask him, "Can I have a hug? Can I have a kiss?" he usually says, "No!" and goes on playing. Sometimes, though, he obliges.

And sometimes Fly spontaneously wraps himself around my legs to give me a hug. I love it! But my arms and chest are jealous. They know they are the ones who are supposed to give and get the hug.

All the holding him close, all the kisses I've given him . . . and now I'm a mama lacking in baby love.

At least until the new baby comes in June . . . .

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Blogger Nadine said...

Fly will come around again, especially when the little one comes along. I found that my daughter cuddled longer than my son did. She's an adult and cuddles are still free flowing. Maybe it's a boy - girl thing. I don't know.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

My son is still a cuddler and I love it. I am certain I will cry when it ends, but I suspect around the time he stops nursing, he will probably give up the cuddles and hugs and kisses too. :(

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter was never a cuddler. I forced myself on her for a long time then poof she was gone doing her own thing. The little guy loves to snuggle and I cannot imagine the day it will change, but it will come.

They come back ... Even my daughter wants more snuggles than before!

11:27 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

It really depends on my kids' moods if they will cuddle with me these days. The baby will always want me to cuddle of course.

I'd bet when your new baby arrives Fly will be back wanting cuddling again.

12:18 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

that makes me sad friend.

although i am sure it's just a phase right?? please tell me the non-hugging thing is just a phase??

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww! Don't worry - the hugs will come back soon!

1:55 PM  
Blogger Scribbit said...

That's a sad stage isn't it? I'm mourning with you.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Madeline said...

I'm near about in tears. I'm dreading the day Levi quits hugging me. Soon enough they'll not only refuse hugs but they'll be embarrassed by us! Oh, the stabbing pains in the heart...I can already feel them. But you've got a very bright side coming your way...more hugs. That first real hug is just priceless! :)

2:35 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

I totally understand what you mean. Isabella used to get up, and we'd immediately cuddle on the glider, she with her head on my shoulder, and me with my arms wrapped around her, for a good 5 minutes each morning. Now, she wants to go downstairs with not even a kiss to start the day. I hate it!

3:28 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Oh, I'm sure I'd feel the same way as you do if my son decided to stop hugging and kissing me! He still LOOOOVES his hugs and kisses, so I'm taking full advantage because I know it won't last forever! :)

3:33 PM  
Blogger jodifur said...

you know what Michael says to me every morning? No, I don't want you, I want Daddy. Every morning.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Soon enough you;ll have to vying for space. Promise!

5:10 PM  
Blogger Melissa @ Banana Migraine said...

Oh that is so hard - don't worry he'll be back!! When he gets older he'll write you little notes - that's what my D has started doing. :)

5:54 PM  
Blogger Bloggy Mama said...

When that wee one comes you'll get so many snuggles. Sweet!!! Sorry Fly is beyond being a snuggle-bug. He'll be back, I'm sure.

8:27 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Huggy stages come back! After the baby was born, Q-ster started wanting more hugs and loves to hug back, especially the baby. It was hard not to wince at first, while he was learning how to be gentle, but now he's got the hang of it.

1:07 AM  
Blogger Mozi Esme said...

That's the part I'm dreading about Esme growing up... It's like each stage of childhood has its pros and cons! Soon you'll be overwhelmed in babyness again, though.

3:35 AM  
Blogger Michelle Fluttering Butterflies said...

You'll just appreciate the hugs and cuddles you do get even more!

7:51 AM  
Blogger Kristen Andrews said...

I am dreading the day my little guys stops giving me snuggles in the morning! Glad to meet another fashion gal!

6:24 PM  
Blogger groovyoldlady said...

Every child has a different love language. Some are snuggly forever, then there are the ones who prefer quality time with you or the ones who feel loved when you do things for them. I've had four and they're all different! If he doesn't grow out of it, rest assured he has other ways of showing and receiving your love!

8:08 PM  
Blogger CaraBee said...

My daughter is the best hugger. It will tear me up if/when she decides she doesn't want to cuddle. One of the tragedies of motherhood, I think, that our babies grow up.

8:56 PM  
Blogger bernthis said...

My daughter is big on closing her door and telling me she needs privacy did I mention she is five?

1:22 PM  

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