Friday, May 23, 2008

Fertile ground

I have made it known to anyone and everyone how much I would love to have another baby. I don't know why I feel so free this time around about sharing my reproductive hopes. It certainly is a conversation starter.

My friend Roo said to me, "You have the first baby for yourself and the second baby for the first baby." At first I thought, Hmm, maybe, but now I don't think so. Part of the reason I think I want another child is I miss Fly's baby days. I want to savor that little-babyness. As a first-time parent, adrenaline would keep me up 20 hours of the day, and I was dizzy from doing things for Fly and learning how to take care of a baby around the clock. I feel -- I hope -- the second time around, I'll be used to all of that doing and I can take more time to just appreciate the miraculous joy bundle. Of course, I would love for Fly to grow up with a sibling, but I also want the baby for me.

So I was interested in reviewing The Tao of Fertility: A Healing Chinese Medicine Program to Prepare Body, Mind and Spirit for New Life for the Parent Bloggers Network. Written by a doctor who specializes in using Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) to help women overcome infertility, the book in general recommends overall health as a way to prepare the body for growing a baby. I don't have infertility issues -- at least not that I know of -- but I enjoyed reading what author Dr. Daosing Ni had to say about fertility and health. Throughout the book, Ni illustrates what TCM has done for women trying to have a baby. These individual women's stories are at times frustrating and heartbreaking. Many turned to "Dr. Dao" as a last resort, after years of trying everything else. Most of them found success with his regimen of healthy diet, moderate exercise, stress reduction -- all common sense -- but also herbs and acupuncture.

Although I don't share the same problems as the women in the book, I do share one important commonality: age. It's harder to conceive after 35. It seemed all of Dr. Dao's patients were in their 30s and 40s. He has good news about this -- well, it seemed like good news to me -- that good health has a positive effect on your eggs. Even a twentysomething can damage her fertility with an unhealthy lifestyle, he points out.

The Tao of Fertility includes a questionnaire to find your "fertility map," a 28-day fertility program featuring a healthy diet (with recipes!) and self-acupressure, a discussion of how acupuncture works and a special section on specific infertility problems.

If the recommended six months go by and I am still not pregnant -- some women do experience secondary infertility -- I would certainly look at TCM as one of my options. In the meantime, after reading this book, I'm definitely going to try to eat better and invest more energy into my overall health.

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Blogger Steph said...

Very interesting... With Tatum I got pregnant without even trying, and I had a healthy and uneventful pregnancy. We started trying again this past December and I've had two miscarriages so far this year - very frustrating. I definitly took it for granted the first time around, but I'll never make that mistake again. It's hard to have so little control over something that's so important. Whatever happens - even if Tatum is the only child we have - it will be okay. Thanks for sharing this book.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too had my first easily, then miscarried. I got super healthy and got pregnant in four months of trying.

Sending positive vibes your way, so that your dreams can come true.

I do not agree that the second baby is for your child. Ethan is all mine, even more so than my first oddly.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Bon said...

i had/have iffy ovaries, and since i was living in Asia when we decided to get pregnant the first time, it was fairly easy to avail myself of acupuncture and some TCM just to try to get my cycle sorted out. i found it - both the physical and mental processes involved - very rewarding, loved the focus of "working" towards something i wanted and the feeling of being productive.

i wish you luck and joy.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

I had a really difficult time getting pregnant the third time and then I lost that baby at 13 weeks. In retrospect, I was looking after two young children and not taking the best care of myself. I wonder if that had anything to do with the year + of trying to conceive in vain.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I am interested to see how we will do trying to get prego with our second. Our little Lucy was um... a surprise... so we are assuming we as baby making machines... but we wont really know till we actually try and see how long it takes us

1:22 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Swanepoel said...

We're probably going to go off the pill in about a year or so. I'd be interested in reading that book then!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Baby #1= 5 months to conceive.
Baby #2= 6 months to conceive.
Baby #3?

TWO YEARS to conceive.

All of them? Worth it.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Sounds like an interesting book...and I've actually never heard anyone say that the 2nd baby is for the 1st one before...buuut I guess I can see their point...although I disagree. :) We definitely did NOT get pregnant a 2nd time FOR was merely because WE wanted more kids!

10:52 PM  
Blogger Nadine said...

I can't wait for the day that you post you're having another child. I would rejoice with you. Fl would be a good big brother.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

I think we are at similar places in our lives - I may have to check out this book...

3:43 PM  
Blogger Cathy, Amy and Kristina said...

I can't wait to read that post either!

9:36 PM  
Blogger Freckle Face Girl said...

Sounds like a great book! I must add that a second baby is wonderful & for some reason I have been able to enjoy even the little stages a lot more. Good luck!

11:30 AM  
Blogger LBA said...

Interesting comments.

As you know, I read a LOT about Secondary Infertility - after getting the first babe with the first try, and then having less luck with the 2nd ( and being over 35 ), I was rushing to panic like Henny Penny with the sky above her head.

In a way, I do think the 2nd is for the 1st. Yes, he was mine, and I wanted him mor than anything, but there was also a lot of 'OMG, only child!' in my head, because I didn't want that either. I wanted siblings. For me, and hopefully, for them too.

You seem a lot calmer than me 2nd time around though. More Zen.


2:09 AM  

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