Saturday, May 09, 2009

Passed down from Mom

Today is my mother's birthday. And tomorrow, of course, is Mother's Day. (Every so often, her birthday and Mother's Day are on the same day.)

She and my sister are here from out of state for a visit, so I get to treat them both a little bit. I have a little surprise planned for her tonight, actually!

I have briefly blogged here before about the ups and downs in my relationship with my mother, Cammy. When I was young, she wasn't especially interested in active parenting. My grandmother took care of me until she died. As soon as I was old enough by state law, I went to live with my dad.

For about 12 years, Cammy and I didn't communicate. Then after the Sept. 11 attacks, I got a letter from my sister. She broke the ice for Cammy and me. We slowly started get to know each other again. I learned about the healing power of forgiveness. My mother and I will probably never have a super close mother/daughter relationship, but we enjoy getting together a few times a year (despite the distance). We can laugh and have a good time together. There's definitely love there.

What's remarkable to me is that despite our troubles and our long time spent apart, when my mother and I (and my sister) are together, we laugh about how similar we are to one another. Even if my mother was often short on nurture when I was growing up, the nature aspect of parenting has definitely come through.

Physically, I'm a taller, darker-colored version of my mother. (Why couldn't I have gotten her pale green eyes? "Green eyes aren't photogenic," she once told me.) I have her broad shoulders, plump toes and unruly hair. I'm just now starting to recognize something of her voice in mine -- the sound as well as the expressions. We like a lot of the same foods.

Even though our personalities are different, it's a comfort to me to know someone is a bit similar to me and understands me (which I often didn't get from my stepmother). A feeling of belonging -- no matter how faint -- is a loving thing to pass on to your child. And that's what I have with Cammy.

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This post is part of the Parent Bloggers Network Mother's Day Blog Blast sponsored by JOHNSON'S. Their second annual Celebrity Hand Me Down charity auction runs from 7 pm PT on Thursday May 7 through 7 pm PT on Thursday May 14, featuring items donated by celebrity moms Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Alba. All proceeds will benefit the new global JOHNSON'SĀ® NO MORE TEARSĀ® Clean Water initiative via their well-known charitable giving site, Baby Cause.

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Blogger Madeline said...

It seems that time has done it's magic trick of healing so much. How wonderful that you can get together now and have that sense of belonging. Hope you have an exceptionally wonderful Mother's Day weekend!!!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Keetha Broyles said...

The mother daughter relationship isn't always an easy one. While my mother and I never were separated, nor had long disputes - - - we certainly did not see eye to eye much of the time.

I was SURE I wouldn't do that to my daughters - - - but sometimes now that they are grown and gone, I do believe they feel the same way about me, even though I tried so hard NOT to build those walls.

I'm glad you have worked to forgive and overcome the barriers. I hope those walls continue to crumble.

Happy Mother's Day to you!!! Motherhood is so challenging.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

That is great that you were able to form a new relationship with your mother.

Hope your Mother's Day is great tomorrow!

7:31 PM  
Blogger Nadine said...

I'm glad you were able to restore your relationship with your mom. That is a wonderful thing.

I've been your blog for a while now and there is one thing I've observed - you're a good mom. Your son is blessed to have you and the little child that grows inside of you will be blessed to join your family.

9:17 PM  
Blogger White Hot Magik said...

It is great that you found forgiveness and that you can enjoy each other now. Happy Mother's Day to you!

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

I think it's great that you've developed a relationship with your mom.

While my experience is very different, my relationship with my dad is often strained. I'm finding that it's better for me to stop worrying about what that relationship should be and enjoy it for what it is.

Enjoy your visit! Happy Mother's Day!

9:28 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

Happy Mother's Day!!

Amazing that you can heal and forgive. I have always longed for that, just cannot imagine it happening :)

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Tatiana @ averygoodyear said...

*hugs* Happy Mother's Day! I'm so happy that you and your mother have repaired your relationship to the point that you have.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Bloggy Mama said...

Wishing you continued blessings on your continued journey with your Mom. Happy Mother's Day!

3:53 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Happy day to you mama.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Momstart said...

I posted on this too but you put a lot more thought into it than I did. Wow!!

6:05 PM  
Blogger CaraBee said...

It really is amazing how despite so much we wind up being like our parents. Happy Mother's Day.

8:26 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, and I'm so happy you've found a way to look past your childhood issues with you mom and accept her (faults and all) for who she is.

I hope you had a WONDERFUL Mother's Day.

1:47 PM  
Blogger jodifur said...

your mom has a great b-day! It's also my b-day!

3:41 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

happy day to you and your mama :)

and does that really say only 42 more days?? yipppeee!!

1:46 PM  

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