Friday, July 20, 2007

Responding to the hard questions with a way to help

As hard as it is sometimes to take care of a baby around the clock, I know times are coming when parenting will require more than that. I know Flybaby will have problems or decisions I won’t be able to help him with, and he will ask hard questions I don’t have answers for. And other times, he may have questions I do have answers for, but I will squirm as I respond to him.

My mother, Cammy, may have squirmed one time when as a kid, I asked her about the “holes” in her face dotting her cheeks like a sponge.

Cammy never did and still doesn’t talk much about her childhood. Her father died when she was a girl, and her stepfather was abusive. She answered me that one time, she said something smart to her stepfather, so he grabbed a pot of hot water off the stove and threw it at her. She was burned. She had several skin treatments of some kind, but she stopped going before her skin could be restored because the treatments were so painful. So Cammy was left with a pocked appearance.

In that time and place, social services didn’t really exist. If “spare the rod and spoil the child” meant excessive punishment, then people reasoned the child probably deserved it and would be better off having been “corrected.” People didn’t question authority, and parents were authorities. So my mother lived with the abuse.

It’s so hard for me to hear in the news about a child who has been abused -- even more so now that I’m a mother. Child abuse is still a huge problem today, but there are more places that offer help to abused children. One of them in my area is Kids In Distress, a private, nonprofit agency. It offers abused, neglected and abandoned children a place to stay and a therapeutic preschool. Kids in Distress also offers programs for families to prevent abuse -- that is huge!

When the Parent Bloggers Network wanted to help spread the word about iBakeSale, a new way to raise funds for your favorite charity, I knew I wanted to donate to Kids In Distress. As a nonprofit, Kids In Distress relies on community help. Signing up at iBakeSale is such an easy way to give to the kids who are hurting in my town. I signed up for a fast, free account, selected Kids In Distress as my cause, and got shopping!

Yes, shopping! Whoever first thought of cash-back shopping as a way to donate money to a worthy cause gets a gold star. The way it works is online retailers (big ones, too, like Macy’s, Disney, Wal-Mart and Hallmark) offer a percentage of your spending total to your chosen cause. All you have to do is shop! If you’re going to buy online anyway, it might as well help someone out. If you’d like to join me in donating to Kids In Distress, please click here and join my group:

Once you’ve signed up for your account (it takes less than five minutes), you can choose other groups to donate to -- like your children’s school or even yourself, if you want that spending to come back to you. With so many retailers on board offering money back, it doesn’t even make sense to shop at those online stores without someone getting a kickback. I’m happy to make sure Kids In Distress gets some benefit from this easy way to raise funds.

When Flybaby gets to the stage when he asks me the hard questions and he asks me why some people are so cruel, I won’t have an answer for him. However, I plan to tell him we can help alleviate suffering and help make others’ lives better.

Parent Bloggers Network

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Blogger kimmy said...

i know its is hard taking care of a baby around the clock even a newborn.. they need alot more attention then the older ones...

pics comming soon...


11:47 PM  
Blogger LBA said...

I too worry a lot about child abuse, and reports on the news burn themselves into my psyche.

I too grew up with abuse, although no boiling water was thrown on me .. and I am forever thinking about the children. How often I would try and make an adult read my mind, to see what was going on.
But people either couldn't see, or didn't want to.

And when I hear of the type of subversive bullying that goes on in school these days, and horrible children deriding others via SMS, YouTube and MySpace etc ... I so worry for my little boy, and hope he doesn't experience ( or participate ) in such things.

So I can get a little bogged down and 'woe' by it all :(

I like what you're doing.

2:18 AM  
Blogger Nadine said...

Child abuse is horrible. I've ministered in the prision and the one thing the men behind bars can't stand are child abusers. If they find out that is what you do. .. well let's just say they don't last long. Amazing even among criminals there is a code - don't hurt a child. How much more does this pain God.

2:30 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

What a wonderful idea! I'm going to check it out today. Thanks for letting us all know about this :-)

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing about your mom & the ibake sale!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I even like the title: ibakesale. Great to give back I will check it out!

1:32 PM  
Blogger kimmy said...

i am tagging you for meme.. check out my site to see what you have to do..


3:00 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Your poor mother. Those who hurt children and animals, the innocent in our world who are unable to defend themselves, deserve a special place in hell. Thanks for bringing this issue to light, and letting us know about ibakesale. I'm definitely checking it out.

3:00 PM  
Blogger Bon said...

great post, Damselfly. the story about your mom and the hot water in the face made sad. so sad.

thanks for letting us know about the ibakesale.

8:05 AM  
Blogger groovyoldlady said...

The greatest protection and the only real healing comes from knowing Jesus Christ - "a Father to the fatherless and a Husband to the widow". Only He can truly help us forgive and be healed. Only He can help us lay aside our own anger, hurt, and selfishness so WE don't abuse. Only He can make us whole again.

8:07 AM  
Blogger OhTheJoys said...

Hard to hear about Cammy... So sorry.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Child abuse is such a terrible reality for many families. Your story was incredibly touching and my heart goes out to any child who is unfortunate enough to experience this. Kids in Distress is an amazing cause that cannot do enough to solve domestic violence issues.

I like your comment about helping out with online shopping people are doing anyway. iBakeSale was created for this exact reason, to allow people to support a cause they're passionate about in a way that's easy and free. Thank you again for joining iBakeSale and be well!


3:20 PM  

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