Agressive gift giving
Wednesday, June 7:
While on our babymoon in the Bahamas, a thick report arrived in a large envelope for JP and me. Now that we’ve checked the mail pile, I can see the report was meticulously researched and nicely packaged. It was printed with a color printer. Comments and anecdotes were handwritten in the margins for our benefit. No one would ever guess the subject of the report: the selection of a particular brand of high chair.
I mentioned JP’s aunt wants to give us a certain item.
As the report’s creator, it’s clear she’s going to give us exactly what we need, whether we realize it, or even want it.
See, my stepmother insisted on buying us a convertible crib. But she didn’t tell us what kind of crib was the best. She didn’t research the crib online. She didn’t call the store nearest us that carries said crib to tell us what varieties of the crib were in stock. She didn’t provide parenting forum printouts explaining the differences between this year’s and last year’s model.
But JP’s aunt did all of these in regards to her favorite high chair. Sixteen pages. About a high chair.
It just seems pushy.
I am half afraid if we allow our dear overzealous gift giver to give us this particular high chair, she will also come over to supervise the first time we sit the baby in it and try to feed him or her. She may even tell us where the high chair should go in our house and how to properly clean it.
This gift aggression bothers me, but it also gets me that it’s the same item picked out by JP’s sister when she had our adorable nephew. If there’s one thing -- one damn thing -- I want to avoid, it’s doing something just because my sister-in-law/brother-in-law/nephew did it.
This is the kind of thing that makes me want to rebel and tell the family the baby will be going on a macrobiotic diet. Tell them the latest research shows infants do best when they’re fed while sitting in a tree swing. Say that we’re outsourcing the baby’s feeding. Anything.
While on our babymoon in the Bahamas, a thick report arrived in a large envelope for JP and me. Now that we’ve checked the mail pile, I can see the report was meticulously researched and nicely packaged. It was printed with a color printer. Comments and anecdotes were handwritten in the margins for our benefit. No one would ever guess the subject of the report: the selection of a particular brand of high chair.
I mentioned JP’s aunt wants to give us a certain item.
As the report’s creator, it’s clear she’s going to give us exactly what we need, whether we realize it, or even want it.
See, my stepmother insisted on buying us a convertible crib. But she didn’t tell us what kind of crib was the best. She didn’t research the crib online. She didn’t call the store nearest us that carries said crib to tell us what varieties of the crib were in stock. She didn’t provide parenting forum printouts explaining the differences between this year’s and last year’s model.
But JP’s aunt did all of these in regards to her favorite high chair. Sixteen pages. About a high chair.
It just seems pushy.
I am half afraid if we allow our dear overzealous gift giver to give us this particular high chair, she will also come over to supervise the first time we sit the baby in it and try to feed him or her. She may even tell us where the high chair should go in our house and how to properly clean it.
This gift aggression bothers me, but it also gets me that it’s the same item picked out by JP’s sister when she had our adorable nephew. If there’s one thing -- one damn thing -- I want to avoid, it’s doing something just because my sister-in-law/brother-in-law/nephew did it.
This is the kind of thing that makes me want to rebel and tell the family the baby will be going on a macrobiotic diet. Tell them the latest research shows infants do best when they’re fed while sitting in a tree swing. Say that we’re outsourcing the baby’s feeding. Anything.
posted by Damselfly at 8:59 PM
1 Comments:
Which highchair is it? Let her give it to you... that's my completely unsolicited advice. Unless it's a kind you feel REALLY STRONGLY about. People (extended family, co-workers, friends, perfect strangers!) are so funny about babies. The more you let 'em be involved in the parts you DON'T feel strongly about, the more they'll leave you alone w/r/t the parts you DO feel strongly about. See? Here I am, giving you parenting advice that you may very well want to flush down the commode. Actually, I'm just telling you my own experience. I parent out of the mainstream, and there's rather a lot I feel strongly about. My tactic to keep the peace has been to go with the flow on the stuff I don't have lots of attachment to.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
From conception on, in my experience, being a mama is the adventure of a lifetime.
all good wishes.
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