Friday, March 06, 2009

Good yummy

It's been a few weeks -- I've lost count, not wanting to count -- since you nursed. You held on for a long time, my boy. You wanted that comfort only mama can give you as you fell asleep -- the holding, the contact and the precious food that was too good to be called simply "milk," so it had to be called "yummy." Good yummy. Our own special term.

But it was time. Even as you nursed, you thrashed, you bit, you slapped. I think that meant even you knew you were done nursing, even if you didn't want to totally give it up. My breasts already tender from carrying your soon-to-be sibling, it was your biting that made the decision for me: no more good yummy.

I thought you were going to wean much sooner. Many people probably assumed you were already weaned. But you held on.

And when you asked for your yummy at night and naptime, I had to turn you away -- tearfully at first, then with logic you probably don't possess and then with gentle cajoling. Eventually, you just stopped asking. Now, you haven't asked in weeks.

You are weaned.

I know you must understand by now that I am so much more to you than just my breasts. Tomorrow, you will turn two and a half, and you really don't need them anymore. They might have needed you, but they're now looking forward to nourishing a new life soon.

And even though you don't have mama's good yummy anymore, I wish you all the good yummy that your life will bring you -- whatever in life sustains you, comforts you and fills you up.

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19 Comments:

Blogger groovyoldlady said...

Weaning is ALWAYS tough; a bittersweet mixture of oh-yes-I-am-free and oh-I-miss-the-closeness!

OK...my word verification is "Beware". What's up with THAT????

8:22 AM  
Anonymous chelle said...

awww E is weaned too ... it is always heart breaking for me to lose that with the kids.

But I get one more! weee!

11:45 AM  
Blogger Madeline said...

Aw, now, you've nearly got me tearing up. What a sweet post. Although, I don't think Levi is near weaning, it's something I've given some thought too. At first I thought I'd turn into a mess over weaning and cry my eyes out, but now I think, when the time comes, I'll accept it...with a few tears. I think and hope it will be a beautifully bittersweet time. It helps too to read about other mom's experiences. Thanks for sharing!

11:58 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Weaning is so bittersweet for me. I don't want to think about it with Ms. D yet, especially knowing she's my last baby. Wah!

6:49 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Yeah...I remember this with Tate too...weaning was harder for me than for him I think!!

8:24 PM  
Anonymous much more than a mom said...

Aw, what a sweet post. Weaning is totally bittersweet. I don't think I'll really lose it until I wean the definitely-for-sure-last child.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

You're so great to have held on so long. Mine where all done by a year. I ran out of patience for it then always felt guilt for quitting so soon.

11:18 PM  
Blogger CaraBee said...

Beautifully said. I am so scared/excited to wean my daughter. I love, love, love our time together but I am definitely ready to have my body back.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous mommyknows said...

What a nice post. It's always a difficult time, and a sad to to let go. 3 of my 4 started weaning on their own.

11:22 AM  
Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

i was so sad when i weaned my own kids.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Nadine said...

Weaning isn't easy I hear. I loved how you wrote this piece - very touching.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Scribbit said...

You're so good! It makes me feel all guilty. I liked nursing until they started to get restless or worse yet, bite. Then I weaned in about 6 hours with a vengeance. Then I felt guilty.

2:30 AM  
Blogger MoziEsm√© said...

What a sweet post that leaves me a little teary-eyed! I'm still breastfeeding at 23 months, though I've made lots of half-hearted efforts to stop. How can you say no to the request for love? Or "More" - Esme's term for it? I know it's time, it's been time for a while. And I'll be wishing her all the "More" that her "life will bring her -- whatever in life sustains her, comforts her, and fills her up."

4:43 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Ahhhh, does this mean Fly is officially a man now? :-)

At least you have a bit of a buffer between now and when #2 comes!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Nap Warden said...

Awww...sweet, but hard for Mommy.

Soon you'll have another little one:)

10:27 PM  
Blogger TheAngelForever said...

Kuddos to you for nursing your little guy as long as you did. My big guy got sick and weaned when he was 11 months old. My little guy and I are still going at almost 22 months. I often take those moments for granted, thank you for reminding me that they will not be here forever. Sending hugs your way.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Weaning is bittersweet. I am so impressed that you nursed him for so long. I nursed my daughter until she was almost two and I'm so glad that I did. There were so many benefits - nutritional and otherwise...

1:54 PM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...

"good yummy" I love it!!

Where on earth was that picture taken? I cannot for the life of me figure out what those things are behind him.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...

Oh wait...is that PEOPLE behind him?? Oh I see what you did...turned the background into black and white. I was trying to figure out where on earth he was that had large lumps of something without color.

Okey-dokey.

I'm a dork.

8:19 PM  

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