Here and gone
Every time I see a weed growing out of a crack in the pavement or a tree growing out of someone's roof, I think, "Life is so tenacious. And you never know where life will spring up."
But it's easy to crush that weed and cut down that tree.
Life is tenacious, but it's also delicate.
S-i-l Sabee lost her baby this week. She was waiting to tell everyone she was expecting because she didn't want to take away the joy and excitement of Flybaby's arrival. But now this....
I wanted to send flowers, but MM said no flowers. How do you comfort someone who will never meet her child? A voicemail, left by JP, just doesn't seem to cut it.
But it's easy to crush that weed and cut down that tree.
Life is tenacious, but it's also delicate.
S-i-l Sabee lost her baby this week. She was waiting to tell everyone she was expecting because she didn't want to take away the joy and excitement of Flybaby's arrival. But now this....
I wanted to send flowers, but MM said no flowers. How do you comfort someone who will never meet her child? A voicemail, left by JP, just doesn't seem to cut it.
posted by Damselfly at 2:49 PM
8 Comments:
How far away does she live? Delivering food, something freezable would be great. Right now in teh midst of all of it, she most likely isnt remembering / wanting to take care of herself. A simple heart felt letter acknowledging the loss and expressing your sorrow may help too - so many people will not recognize this as a "real" loss since the baby was not yet born. One of teh most meaningful things was when a friends mother called me and asked if it was ok to add us to her church's prayer list. I'm not a church goer, but the fact that someone recognized and wanted to help ease my pain really helped. Also I'm not catholic but http://www.innocents.com/ click on teh shrine dedicated to those who died unborn. there you can add teh baby to the book of life and once a month mass is dedicated to the babies... knowing that someone other than me remembers really helped. One day I hope to visit the church and see the book in person. Sending prayers for her.
I just got an e-mail from a friend in my hometown who also just lost a baby- and I'm also at a loss for what to do!! We'll have to think of something brilliant together.
Call her and talk and listen. I have a friend that has had two miscarriages, so sad.
Oh how sad. I always bring food if they're local, and send a sympathy card to acknowledge the loss. Not much, but I don't know what else to do.
Speaking from experience, just letting her know how sorry you are, something so simple helps. After my miscarriage I had this great friend who just listened to all my fears and frustrations. Another friend brought me out for a nice dinner. But mainly, the best thing for me was to know that there were people out there who cared for me and were sorry for my loss. Although I didn't want to talk at first, I knew when I was ready that they would be there for me still.
Send an email, or card and let her decide when she's ready to talk.
I think that showing her somehow that you are there to listen to her if she needs a friend to talk to would be nice. I like the idea of dedicating prayers for her baby at Church too if she's religious.
I think an e-mail or card are best. Just let her know you care.
I think a lovely handwritten note would be perfectly appropriate. More personal than email, and more permanent than a phone call. Your poor SIL. My heart goes out to her.
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