Wednesday, August 06, 2008

What I'd Wear Wednesday: Not these, part 2

What I'd wear today if I could: definitely none of the following (because we had so much fun with this exercise last time).

These are brand-new shorts for sale at You want to know the price tag? $285. Nordstrom corporate buyers, listen up: I think you'll find it hard to get people who will wear these shorts for free. I know these shorts are making a statement, but the statement is "I lost a bet with my mechanic and had to take his old jeans, cut off the legs and wear them at a busy intersection until someone called the cops on me for loitering." Pairing these shorts with dark pantyhose doesn't make them any more chic.

Now, I love hats. And I like the designer who used this hat to accessorize her clothes. But if a person really feels the need to wear a sombrero that's wider than her hips, she should take a cue from Caribbean women and instead carry an umbrella to ward off the sun's rays. Or, if you think a hat this big helps you hide, you are mistaken. People will be staring. They will notice you for sure.

I just know somebody out there is going to say she likes this dress and I'm all wrong for posting it here, or at least say this dress isn't really that bad. And I guess the dress is less than horrible, but, oh, the monoboob! The crazy gold and silver plaid! The weird neckline pleating! It all adds up to one bizarro dress.

No, I think today is a simple yoga-pants-and-T-shirt day.



Blogger ames said...

Those shorts...huh? Is it a joke? What on earth has happened to Nordstrom?

That sad little dress is so unflattering, Stacey and Clinton would have a field day with it!

8:47 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

Sad that the hat is the best item of the lot. The dress is dreadful, and the shorts are a bad joke!

8:51 AM  
Blogger Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh my goodness. You are right on. And that dress is not even fit to be maternity.


8:52 AM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

Those shorts are horrible! I can't believe that anyone would be spending money on that.

9:15 AM  
Blogger ~Melissa~ said...

Oh my gosh - those shorts are awful!

9:30 AM  
Blogger CaraBee said...

Shorts = awful
Hat = laughable
Dress = unfortunate

I agree on all counts.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Madeline said...

Ha! I so needed a good laugh today. Thank you, thank you!

11:39 AM  
Blogger Don Mills Diva said...

Yikes. The dress is ugly but the shorts are hideous. And grossly over-priced.

Or maybe a joke, that I could believe...

12:24 PM  
Blogger Maternal Mirth said...

I have to agree with Maria ... the hat is the best 1 of the 3.

2:00 PM  
Blogger merideth said...

hey, i have that dress! just kidding. but i wanted to say . . . i call that monoboob look "tube o' boob."

also, my husband and brothers each have several pairs of jeans very similar to item #1. i'll sell 'em to you for, like, two hundred THIRTY-five dollars - a bargain!

2:14 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

honey please tell me you are kidding?? those shorts. that price tag. just silly.

and the hat and the dress - no thank you!!

3:26 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

What The????

Those are dreadful. All of them. I'm not even sure which is the worst.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Those shorts are ridiculous. Seriously, who is their target demographic with them? The hat is equally silly, and that dress? Hideous!

And monoboob-Ha!

6:48 AM  
Blogger Jenn (Life's Sweet Melody) said...

The first thing I thought about the dress was it looked like a maternity dress...seriously. I swear I came across so many ugly maternity clothes when I was pregnant.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Leeanthro said...

Not to mention that the model REALLY needs to eat a sandwich!

I think my husband just threw some shorts like that into the trash.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

Dude. Those shorts! My roomie in university had shorts very similar to that, which we all took turns wearing (It was the 90's!). They were her dad's old jean shorts from the farm that he used to shovel the pig manure whilst wearing. We called them the Pig Shit Shorts. They definitely DID NOT cost $250.

8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call my crazy but I'm digging the shorts...

6:44 AM  
Blogger Scribbit said...

While I love posting all sorts of positive upbeat things the lists of things that stink are just so darn fun to write--they pretty much write themselves :)

I'm not sure which is more disturbing, that they think someone would actually wear those shorts or that they think that the woman modeling them looks anything remotely like a real woman. Did they hire her in the Sudan? She looks like a victim of malnutrition! That tends to irritate me--give me a real shaped woman.

3:16 AM  
Blogger MoziEsm√© said...

Those shorts are great! Just gave me some ideas on how to expand my wardrobe! $285 - what a joke . . .

4:03 AM  
Blogger Guinevere Meadow said...



7:23 AM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

That hat is the ultimate in sun protection. I still do not understand wanting to wear ripped clothing, I'm old I guess.

9:04 AM  

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