Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I pushed a girl and I liked it

Well, actually, Fly pushed a girl.

And then he pushed a boy. He's equal-opportunity that way.

We were at a play area, and a girl of about four came up to him, smiling. She wanted to play. But what did Fly do? He pushed her.

(And a couple weeks ago, I was so proud of his compassionate heart!)

The girl wasn't physically hurt, but her feelings were hurt. She retreated to her mom. I walked Fly over to her to apologize and to say pushing is wrong. I did the same later after he pushed the boy.

Fly has never pushed anyone before. In fact, when other children get a little rough or grab something out of his hands, he just lets them and then backs away from them.

Now he's an aggressor?

I could say he was tired, or keyed up from playing, or overexcited by playing with the other children, or that someone pushed him and he wanted to push someone too. But pushing is still wrong.

So now, I suppose, we're at the beginning of a long line of years when children learn how to interact with one another and to treat others with respect.

That's only, what? The next 23 years or so?

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Blogger Maternal Mirth said...

My son, who was normally sweet and loving, started to BITE one day out of the blue. It was a brief phase (about 2-3 months), but what turned out to be the best remedy was pointing out how things didn't work out when you bite.

Same thing with tantrums ... I would just calmly tell him "Is this behavior getting you what you want? Or is it getting you in more trouble AND you still don't get what you want?" He always quieted down.

As they get older they will "try on different hats". Kids are observant little effers and they see how people make sitauations work or how people interact, BUT they need to do their own little field tests to see what works for them. Fly will find out what works best for Fly and I know you'll help him :)

3:46 PM  
Anonymous chelle said...

I agree with MM ... it is a phase that all children go through, however long or not. Sometimes space is something that a kid really needs and pushing feels like the only alternative. He will (with your guidance and wisdom) learn better ways of handling the situation.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous much more than a mom said...

Definitely a phase. Primo is using his phase solely on his sister. ;-)

5:26 PM  
Blogger groovyoldlady said...

Well I think he's turning into a little bully.


It is a phase...just wait 'til he goes into the kissy phase or the flipping his eyelids inside out phase or the licking his plate phase or the calling Mom names phase (that one never lasted long in our house!)

6:55 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Isn't raising children fun? ha!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Sigh...the pushing stage, huh? We haven't reached that yet, and I'm crossing my fingers that we won't...but just wait, now that I said that the pushing stage will arrive tomorrow!!

10:17 PM  
Blogger CaraBee said...

One more thing to look forward to. Yay! Like the other comments, I am sure it is a short-lived phase.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Oh dear. Although I can see why you don't like this behavior, I wish Isabella had a bit more of Fly in her. Despite her VERY strong personality, she lets kids take toys from her, shove her, etc., and doesn't seem bothered by that behavior in the least.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

It seems most kids go through that pushing/hitting/biting stage. Often it was frustration coming out but sometimes I found that my kids were just experimenting with limits, seeing what they could get away with.

I'm happy to report that my big kids don't push other kids anymore. Well, except for each other. I think that's normal. ;)

8:58 AM  
Blogger oh amanda said...

yikes. that's a boy for you...


how did he react to the apologizing?

7:28 PM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

Some people never outgrow such behaviors.

Ugh, I feel your pain. Ian's become quite aggressive since starting preschool.

11:39 PM  

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