Christmas top 10

Merry Christmas, everyone! I leave you with a photo of us being tapped again to be the Holy Family in a church re-enactment (those glowing circles behind us are the eyes of real sheep), and a list of the....

Top 10 Reasons God didn’t choose us to be the real Holy Family

10. The song “Away in a Manger” says, “But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes,” -- unlike some Jesus imposters (cough!Flybaby).

9. JP doesn’t stand for Jesus, Prince of Peace. (I guess that would be JPP, though . . . .).

8. If people are going to be baking goodies in honor of my son (aka Christmas cookies), I’d want a piece of the action.

7. I am more than twice the supposed age Mary was. That’s probably why she didn’t have any appointments with the genetic counselor.

6. I probably would have messed up and called them the three wise guys.

5. Donkeys just aren’t fast enough as a means of transportation. Although they do have heated seats. Hmm . . . .

4. My family just wouldn’t fall for the virgin birth story.

3. JP doesn’t like the adjective “hoary” when it comes to describing him.

2. It probably never occurred to Mary that, smell aside, spit-up makes great hair gel.

1. If God sent an angel to tell me I was going to have his son and I ended up giving birth in a barn, I would have been like, “This is the best you can do? Are you kidding?”