Sunday, March 12, 2006

Body envy

Friday, March 10:

Going to dinner with the 'rents-in-law turns out to be not such a worry.

However, seeing beautiful women out and about, that's a worry.

Before leaving home, I notice a woman in a magazine ad with what appears to be a 14-inch waist.

Life is so unfair.

In the restaurant restroom, a woman comes out of a stall holding a baby who's probably around 8 months. She is gorgeous and a size 2 with tight jeans to show her little body off.

My jeans are getting tighter, but not for the same reason.

The server is a willowy creature -- another reminder of what I might not ever look like.

It seems everywhere I look, there are all these women who are so beautiful and thin. And even though I'm not really showing yet, I know I am gaining weight and wonder what my body's future looks like.

Some posts in some pregnancy forums I've read recently discuss "showing," and I stare at the screen, reading posts that claim, "I didn't show until my six month," and "I am actually losing weight since I became pregnant."

I just don't think the universe is going to be that kind to me, and I'm beginning to gulp down hopeless despair. Gee, is that dramatic enough?!


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