Curses! Foiled again!
This past week, I missed an important conference I should have been at. It's related to my book. But without support from JP (more on that later), I knew going to the conference would be tough.
First, it's a five-hour drive (without a child who hates sitting still strapped to a seat in the back of a car). I'm not a good flyer, and anyway, there isn't an airport nearby, if you can believe it.
Then, it's a question of what JP and Fly would do in the relatively small town while I was in the conference. I couldn't leave Fly home because he's not weaned yet, and JP didn't want me to take Fly and leave him alone.
So when the conference sign-ups were going on, I wasn't sure if I would have Fly weaned by this time yet (he's not, but we're down to a few times a day). And the last time I did a book-related thing, I ended up nursing Fly in the car in the parking lot because it took place at a community college where there wasn't any place to nurse him. (They opened only one little section of the college on the weekend.)
It was a little heartbreaking, but the easiest thing to do was just not go.
Well, I just got the news that a longtime associate of mine was elected president of the writer group putting on the conference. So I sent him an e-mail to congratulate him. I told him I wished I had been able to go, but I'm nursing and blah blah blah . . . .
And Mr. President responded, "Well, Myrtle Q. Snookenfouz came two years ago and nursed her baby through the whole week of the conference."
At this point, do I:
A. Reach through the computer and slap the man
B. Calmly tell myself he's a man and doesn't understand
C. Kick myself all over again for my clumsy breastfeeding style
D. Kick myself for not having weaned Fly already
E. ???
And don't you just bet that Myrtle Q. Snookenfouz had a young, easy baby who slept a lot, and not a high-need toddler like Fly....
First, it's a five-hour drive (without a child who hates sitting still strapped to a seat in the back of a car). I'm not a good flyer, and anyway, there isn't an airport nearby, if you can believe it.
Then, it's a question of what JP and Fly would do in the relatively small town while I was in the conference. I couldn't leave Fly home because he's not weaned yet, and JP didn't want me to take Fly and leave him alone.
So when the conference sign-ups were going on, I wasn't sure if I would have Fly weaned by this time yet (he's not, but we're down to a few times a day). And the last time I did a book-related thing, I ended up nursing Fly in the car in the parking lot because it took place at a community college where there wasn't any place to nurse him. (They opened only one little section of the college on the weekend.)
It was a little heartbreaking, but the easiest thing to do was just not go.
Well, I just got the news that a longtime associate of mine was elected president of the writer group putting on the conference. So I sent him an e-mail to congratulate him. I told him I wished I had been able to go, but I'm nursing and blah blah blah . . . .
And Mr. President responded, "Well, Myrtle Q. Snookenfouz came two years ago and nursed her baby through the whole week of the conference."
At this point, do I:
A. Reach through the computer and slap the man
B. Calmly tell myself he's a man and doesn't understand
C. Kick myself all over again for my clumsy breastfeeding style
D. Kick myself for not having weaned Fly already
E. ???
And don't you just bet that Myrtle Q. Snookenfouz had a young, easy baby who slept a lot, and not a high-need toddler like Fly....
Labels: breastfeeding, up for discussion
posted by Damselfly at 1:26 PM
14 Comments:
A and B, but perform A repeatedly. That kind of comment is akin to "Well, my wife breastfed our baby, but she certainly never did it in (gasp!) public!"
Ugh. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I just wanted to send along an "I understand" comment. Our little girl is thirteen months, still nursing, and much too active to sit all day through any conference.
Keep your chin up. As everyone always tells me and I try to tell myself..."I'm sure there will be many opportunities for other career-building ventures in the future!"
P.S. What conference was it...?
E.) And what shall I do with the baby when he ISN'T nursing? (That would have been my issue. When not attached to the boob, my babies weren't exactly quiet. Or still.)
I would choose E. "Great, I will do that and I trust I can count on you to watch him during the conference for me so I can do my own thing. Thanks for the offer."
Trying to be thoughtful doesn't always work out does it?
Isn't it wonderful how people think they're being so helpful with comments like that? Gah!
People who aren't living with babies or toddlers seem to forget that you can't just tuck them under a table until it's time to nurse.
This is not even close to the same thing as your conference, but I remember my dentist's receptionist saying, "Why don't you just bring your baby to your appointment." And what? Let her assist you in scraping off my plaque? I think she would just prefer to cry for the 45 minutes, thanks. Ass Hat.
Sorry :(
I might e-mail back and say although it worked for Myrtle, it just won't work for me ... all the while repeating B in your head
I might be naive but it seems to me he was trying to be helpful? Even though it wasn't helpful really. But I'm sorry.
Definitely A & B. Nursing a child that moves around and is very wiggly is a hard thing to do in public.
What an unfeeling, heartless, wretch of a man!!!!
I had to laugh at the name..."Myrtle Q Snookenfouz...LOLOLOL!"
Good for Myrtle Q. Snookenfouz, but for most of us...making the trip sounds difficult! I know I would try to pass too.
I'm going with A and B, ugh.
I would have passed too, no sense in all the stress of trying to make it work with Fly.
Don't worry other opportunities will come, Fly will only be this little now.
As I write, my colleagues are all in another state at our annual conference. Last year we hosted (I was pregant) and there were actually a couple of babies. I pondered packing mine up and taking him this year, but thought it was more trouble than it was worth for many of the reasons you stated. I could have gone and left the kids behind, but the thought of having to leave the sessions to go pump didn't sound fun. And because I just returned from my maternity leave, I didn't have enough time to write a paper to present.
Oh well. It's quiet at my office today.
Console yourself by realizing that
A) Myrtle's baby was probably only 2 months old
B) Myrtle's baby only weighed 8 pounds
C) Myrtle's baby was docile and didn't rip off cover blankets or ever pause mid milking to throw her head up high and smile a drooly smile at everyone whilst your dripping teat was flapping in the breeze.
D) Myrtle's baby was a quiet sipper
E) Myrtle herself was an Amazon who only needs one arm to hold the baby while she nurses. She probably cooks gourmet food with her babe at breast.
F) her baby is alot uglier than Fly, so she had to hide her all the time.
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